Have you ever woken up feeling more tired than when you went to bed? Feeling completely overwhelmed by the major challenges ahead of you, such as getting washed and dressed? Let alone the fact that you need to go to work / another networking event / the job centre.
You can wallpaper your entire house floor to ceiling with inspirational posters saying things like “Feel the fear and do it anyway”. I can see the poster now; a bungee jumper bravely flying off an impossibly high bridge or a surfer confidently riding an enormous wave, but when overstressed or unhappy, how are you supposed to find the energy to become this stronger / better / braver person?
Fear can be good, it can make you change your life because you’re scared of staying where you are for the rest of it. However, there is an equally good argument for “Feel the fear for a darned good reason and don’t do it” like if someone told you to jump out of a plane without a parachute, we probably would refuse to do it! So it seems the skill is in identifying which of these situations it is and working out what your parachute needs to be made of for it to help you jump safely.
You may have those around you who always appear to have already achieved dizzying heights of enlightenment, success and happiness. What you don’t always see are the days when they feel like an imposter, a failure or just completely lost. Possibly their life is better or easier than yours – or possibly they have developed better coping mechanisms than you. This should fill you with hope because it means they weren’t born with some magical gift and that you too can find ways to cope.
Many of us are living with fear every day; fear we may lose our jobs, fear we may have to stay in a job we don’t like, fear of so much work we can’t possibly make deadlines, fear we’ll not find another job soon enough, and the list goes on. Living with fear as part of your daily life and not knowing how to deal with it can literally kill you
In evolutionary terms fear has served us well, encouraging fight or flight. This is all fine when we’re being chased by a lion through the jungle and instant action will save our lives, but not necessarily good for us when sat behind our desks unable to act. Living with consistent fear may make you wish you had been eaten by that lion.
What fear does to us
Feelings of extreme fatigue, weight gain, mood swings, inability to focus, heart flutters, increased sweating, regular illness – any of this sound familiar? These are just some of the effects fear can have on us.
Fear is very stressful for the body because when preparing for flight or fight the body releases stored red blood cells so that the blood can carry more oxygen around the body and replenish the oxygen supply more rapidly – this means the heart starts to beat faster and you feel out of breath – ever felt this before a presentation or interview?
The digestive system metabolises sugar much quicker in order to provide an instant energy source meaning that it slows down the digestion of proteins and fats and your pituitary gland (which manages your digestive and tissue repair functions) turns fat to glucose, offering a quicker energy supply. It also sends a messenger hormone out to the adrenal gland which releases adrenalin and cortisol into your bloodstream. Adrenalin is great if it is linked to an activity such as sport but not if this is what happens to you every time you walk into your workplace / a meeting / an interview. Adrenalin cuts off the conscious thought processes, have you ever come out of an interview wondering how you could have forgotten something so important or said something so silly as you did?
The long-term consistent release of high levels of cortisol is what most medical professionals are worried about as it can affect how your whole body functions. It has been found to be the culprit behind a large number of stress diseases i.e. cardiovascular diseases, diabetes, autoimmune diseases, obesity, emotional illnesses from depression, anxiety, panic attacks and phobias.
So consistent high levels of cortisol attacks your body and mind. Long-term high cortisol levels can leave you feeling anxious and negative and all this happens when the adrenaline has abated and your body is attempting to relax and recover – ever come home from a busy day, feeling exhausted, then tossed and turned all night unable to sleep because you are thinking about all the awful things happening in your life?
At some point, with the help of this negative cocktail of chemicals, your body and mind will enter a stage of exhaustion. This can result in strong reactions to even mild sources of additional stress. Think of times when you or someone you know seems to react excessively to what in reality is a very small thing.
As the body is preparing for damage, additional blood platelets (which helps blood to clot) enter into the bloodstream and the processes required for the upkeep of your immune system are suppressed until the fight or flight situation is over. The brain joins in by releasing endorphins to block out immediate feelings of pain that result from any injuries you may get.
How many of us have gone on holiday and all of a sudden become ill, extremely tired, unable to focus? Once outside of the environment that brings on the fight or flight reactions, your body will attempt to function normally again and all the normal processes that were put on hold will attempt to work again i.e. your immune system. However, by this time the cortisol will have attached itself to and attacked your white blood cells, compromising your immune system, and that is when you feel the pain or illness in both body and mind. Human bodies and minds have not evolved to cope with the current environment surrounding us. The jungles are concrete, the predators have taken human or corporate form and the dangers can feel omnipresent.
Build your own parachute
You can safely jump from the metaphorical plane by creating your own parachute. You can do this by working to take control of what is within your reach so you are prepared and equipped for the things that aren’t.
I can’t tell you what your mental parachute should be made of because I don’t know you or what is causing the fear / stress in your life right now, but there are enough options out there to help you identify how far you should jump or if you should jump at all. Maybe you do not need a dramatic change in your life to make you happier, maybe you just need a new perspective.
The stumbling block for some people is accepting that they have a problem and the problem resides within them. Even if your life is so stressful due to the way your boss is treating you, you still have the power to decide whether you allow the situation to continue or you do something to change or move away from it.
For others it is seeing asking for help not as a sign of weakness. For all of us, we need to understand that a problem can only go away if we come face to face with it. It will also not go away overnight; it takes time, patience and understanding.
Support in working all of this out can be as simple as talking honestly and openly to family or friends. One way of combating fear is bringing unconscious processes up to the conscious i.e. when going into an interview or difficult meeting, focus on your breathing and slowing it down – this can then make your body feel relaxed. You could try a CD, hypnotherapist, yoga or pilates for this. If you prefer to take more of a practical approach, take a course i.e. on interview techniques, and make sure that your subconscious can competently answer those difficult interview questions.
You could seek out further education and do a course that really excites you, who knows where it will lead you. You could find a career or life coach who can help you work out what it is that will make you more relaxed or happy. You could buy a self-help book. There are endless options.
Whether you need to gain the confidence to market yourself in interviews, the perspective to work out what you want to do when the market improves or just decrease the negative effects daily fear and stress are having on your body; you have to make a conscious decision to do something about it. And on that note I will leave you in the capable hands of Walter Wintle, these verses from one of his poems were no doubt his parachute through hard times:
If you think you are beaten, you are,
If you think you dare not, you don’t.
If you like to win, but you think you can’t,
It is almost certain you won’t.
If you think you’ll lose, you’re lost,
For out in the world we find,
Success begins with a fellow’s will.
It’s all in the state of mind.
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